


as you or me

by aobajohsighs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Time Skip, Sharing a Bed, pls dont read it if ur under 18 these are all adults
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27601505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aobajohsighs/pseuds/aobajohsighs
Summary: “Are you insulting my girlfriend-chan again? Don’t be so jealous, you’ll always have a special place in my heart.” The elevator opened on his floor and Oikawa exited, leaning his head to the side and squishing the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he fished for his keys.“Oikawa, you and I both know that she doesn’t exist.” His mouth went dry, keys pausing, jingling gently as they stilled from their upwards swing. Oikawa blinked away the shock and continued unlocking his door anyway.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 25
Kudos: 178





	1. you're full of shit

The piping cup of dark roast was placed directly in front of him, the ceramic saucer clinking gently against the glass tabletop gently as he thanked the waiter with his award-winning grin and continued scrolling through his phone. His chocolate tinted eyes watched his server walk away, making sure he was under no surveillance as he dove for the sugar and cream placed at the center of his table for one. He’d ordered the coffee black because everyone in Argentina seemed to have a taste for the bitter liquid, but Jesus Christ, he just couldn’t stomach it unless it was cloyingly sweet. 

Three sweet-n-lows, one equal, and four french vanilla creamers later, Oikawa was absent mindedly sipping at his coffee (if you could call it that at this point) and scrolling through his Facebook feed when a notification popped up, causing his pupils to blow open. It was an event invitation...to a Miyagi Prefecture VBC reunion. The brunette squinted at the message, trying to make sure he was reading that right. He set the mug back down on the saucer, using both hands to send a text message to his group chat.

Sexy Seijoh

**prettysetter** : hi hi! good morning!

**mattsun** : it’s 8 pm

**prettysetter** : some of us live in other countries :)

**hanahaki** : that’s not our fault 

**iwachan** : what do you want shittykawa

**prettysetter** : :(

**prettysetter** : did you get invited to that reunion?

**mattsun** : what reunion?

**hanahaki** : check facebook

There was a brief pause in which Oikawa was sure Matsukawa was checking his notifications. His foot drummed anxiously against the concrete, Argentinian sun blazing down on the back of his neck while he sipped at his drink. 

**mattsun** : oh

**prettysetter** : isn’t this a really weird time to be having a reunion? aren’t you supposed to have them every ten years or something?

**iwachan** : i heard about that

**iwachan** : something about wanting to get all the reunions over in case covid hits again 

**hanahaki** : is that why it’s for graduates of 2010-2015?

**iwachan** : i guess

Oikawa grimaced looking at the text Hanamaki sent, quickly swiping on his phone to visit the event’s homepage and reading through the details. He was right, of course. Five years of all of Miyagi’s volleyball club members were invited, not just his class. He switched pages with speed, scrolling through the confirmed guests and searching for names that he would recognize. A few popped up, sure, from various schools- various teams Aoba Johsai had pounded into the dust. Iwaizumi had already rsvp’d, as had the captain of Date Tech. The setter chewed his lower lip nervously as he scrolled, finally finding the name he was looking for. Tobio Kageyama, attending. A scowl played on his lips as memories from a few months prior looped through his mind. 

Visions of the Olympic stadium lights blazing above him, sweat dripping down his face as he dove to receive a spike, saving it by the grace of God and his thin fingertips only. He could see the smirk on Kageyama’s face when the set he’d sent Shoyou had landed perfectly, their minus-tempo quick sending the Argentina National Team to their knees fighting to block it. He could feel the pain in his knee searing to the core as he pushed past his limits and jumped higher than he ever had to ensure he got his service ace. He remembered, more than anything, the feeling of thinking he was going to fail. That Kageyama’s sets would land better than his own, that his team would miss Ushijima’s spikes. But he also remembers the feeling when Argentina finally won. Thirty-three to thirty-one in the last set. He almost couldn’t believe it, his mouth going dry and agape, chocolate eyes staring at the scoreboard even as cheers erupted around him. It took his teammates tackling him to the ground for him to realize that holy shit, they’d actually won. 

Oikawa’s fingers navigated him back to his group chat. 

**prettysetter** : tobio-chan is going :)))))

**hanahaki** : well why wouldn’t he? he stayed in japan

**prettysetter** : :)))) i’m going

**mattsun** : here we go

**hanahaki** : you just want to show off

At that, he snickered, leaning back in his seat. 

**prettysetter** : and why shouldn’t i? i did win the olympics~

**iwachan** : third place is winning now?

**prettysetter** : i’m sorry, what medal did your team get, iwa-chan? nothing? :(

**mattsun** : shut up oikawa

**prettysetter** : :|

**iwachan** : yeah crappykawa, that’s all you have to brag about anyway

**prettysetter** : ???

**prettysetter** : being an olympic medalist isn’t enough?

**hanahaki** : not when most everyone else is settling down and getting married

**iwachan** : makki and mattsun included.

**prettysetter** : WHEN DID YOU GET ENGAGED?

**mattsun** : we didn’t

**mattsun** : as far as i’m aware anyway

**hanahaki** : but we’ve talked about it and we’re not the only ones

**prettysetter** : well congratulations~ but what does that matter?

**iwachan** : there’s more important shit in life than volleyball tooru

The use of his first name threw him off. He blinked at his phone, a dull laugh escaping his lips. That just wasn’t accurate- this was his entire career, what he’d worked at his whole life. Why would he want to stop now and ‘settle down’ with someone who couldn’t keep up with him and would end up breaking his heart anyway?

**mattsun** : i heard even ushiwaka’s engaged now

Okay. That one hurt a little bit. Oikawa leaned forward in his seat, crossing his ankles as he chewed on his thumbnail. 

**hanahaki** : i don’t know why we’re even having this conversation

**hanahaki** : we all know oikawa couldn’t hold down a relationship to save his life

**prettysetter** : ?!

**mattsun** : HAHENWHAHAK

**mattsun** : i still remember you crying every week after your girlfriends would break up with you

**prettysetter** : IT WAS NOT EVERY WEEK?

**hanahaki** : sure felt like it

**mattsun** : no one could ever put up with your crazy volleyball ass

**iwachan** : ^

**prettysetter** : i dont know why i even come in this chat anymore

**prettysetter** : i’ll have you know i’m in a very serious and loving relationship with a very beautiful woman! >:(

He’s not sure why he said it, the lie, but the second he sends the text message he drops his phone and sends it clattering to the table, his hand slapping over his mouth. Oh, the clownery would never stop once they found out he was lying. Why the fuck would he say that? He hadn’t had a serious relationship since high school, which, as Mattsun had said, ended with him crying because she broke up with him when his volleyball schedule proved to be more important than her. The texts that come in are immediate, making his phone buzz consistently. 

**iwachan** : stop fucking lying

**mattsun** : bullshit

**hanahaki** : hahahaha no you aren’t

He was really in deep shit now. 

**prettysetter** : ? 

**prettysetter** : yes i am!!

**iwachan** : why have we never heard about her then

**prettysetter** : she’s all mine and no one else’s :D

**hanahaki** : you’re a bad liar crappykawa

**prettysetter** : IT’S BEEN ALMOST 10 YEARS CAN WE STOP WITH THAT NICKNAME

**mattsun** : no shittykawa not when you’re lying this awfully

**prettysetter** : why do you think i’m lying!

**hanahaki** : who is she?

Well fuck. He was really sweating now, his coffee gone cold in front of him. Oikawa’s leg resumed tapping, anxiety setting back in. 

**prettysetter** : she went to school with us >:p

**iwachan** : is that so

**mattsun** : what’s her name?

Shit. 

**prettysetter** : and let you pervs leer all over her? i don’t think so!!!

**iwachan** : this smells like bullshit

**prettysetter** : why wont you believe meeeee iwa-chaaaaaan D: 

**hanahaki** : if this girlfriend of yours is so real then why don’t you bring her to the reunion?

**mattsun** : you can’t bring what doesn’t exist makki

**prettysetter** : so rude to my girlfriend-chan and you don’t even know her :( of course she’ll be coming~

**hanahaki** : i’ll believe it when i see it

**hanahaki** : i’m going to bed

**mattsun** : good night trashykawa good luck finding someone to pretend to date you

**prettysetter** : goodnight to my horribly rude friends <3

Oikawa locked his phone with shaking fingers, knowing he just lied his ass off to those closest to him. The phone clattered against the table once more as his hands flew into his chocolate locks, groaning as he fisted the tresses and rubbed in circles. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If he had just admitted that he was teasing about five minutes ago, he could’ve played it off and only received minimal ribbing, nothing more than he was used to on a daily basis. But now...now he was just going to look pathetic. 

With a deep shaky breath, Oikawa lowered his hands from his hair, one moving to cup his neck as he rolled his head around, cracking the bones at the top of his spine. His eyes glanced over the cup, no longer feeling the need to caffeinate himself artificially. No, he was wide awake now. Pouting slightly, the setter reached into his back pocket and removed his wallet, flipping it over and removing a few bills. Foreign money was still such a strange concept to him that he found himself overpaying and overtipping often, opting to be better safe than sorry. 

Once his debt was paid, Oikawa shoved himself up from his sitting position and strutted away from the patio of the cafe. His arms crossed under his chest as his fingers tapped anxiously against his bicep. What was he going to do? How was he going to pull this one off? “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbled under his breath, his pace slowing as he strolled through the streets back to his apartment. “FUCK!” he exclaimed, tilting his head back and letting his arms fall to his side, hands flexing and fingers splaying as he stretched his whole body. 

He stayed like that for a second, taking the time to regulate his breathing, chest rising and falling in an even pattern. What. Was he. Going. To do. He was stolen from his thoughts by the feeling of vibration in his front right pocket and the muffled sound of the X Files theme song accompanying it. Oikawa’s head lolled back down, smiling widely at the passersby that heard his little outburst. His fingers blindly grasped for his cell phone, checking the contact name before sliding his thumb over the screen to accept and pulling the device to his ear, joy in his voice. “Iwa-chaaaaan, to what do I owe this great pleasure?” He was all but skipping as he entered his apartment building and called for the elevator.

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi’s voice was stern and serious, no hint of the joking tone he usually used when he insulted him.

“So serious, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for the fourth floor before leaning against the wall. “I just got into an elevator if the call drops- try not to confess your love for me until I can hear every love filled word!” The car began to move upwards, the sudden lurching affecting his empty, caffeine filled stomach. There was a sigh on the other side of the line and Oikawa smirked, practically visualizing Iwa pinching the bridge of his nose all the way in Japan. 

“No one’s in love with you, crappykawa.” Ouch. The words hit a little harder than they should have. 

“Are you insulting my girlfriend-chan again? Don’t be so jealous, you’ll always have a special place in my heart.” The elevator opened on his floor and Oikawa exited, leaning his head to the side and squishing the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he fished for his keys.

“Oikawa, you and I both know that she doesn’t exist.” His mouth went dry, keys pausing, jingling gently as they stilled from their upwards swing. Oikawa blinked away the shock and continued unlocking his door anyway.

“And how do you know that?” he challenged, twisting the knob.

“Because we hooked up at the Olympics, and it hasn’t been long enough since then for any ‘serious relationship’ to develop.” Oikawa’s hands froze on the knob and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up straight. Yeah...he was caught. It was with a grumble that he finally shoved open the door to his apartment and flooded inside, sliding down the back of it once it clicked shut behind him. 

“They were being so mean about it...and when I heard about Ushiwaka...I…” he trailed off, eyes falling shut as he gave a depreciating smile. It was stupid, he’d been figured out, and now Iwaizumi was going to clown him mercilessly for it. And the worst part? He deserved it. The ribbing, the name calling, even being single. People joked his whole life that he would marry a volleyball, and maybe he would, actually. He just didn’t see a reason to settle down when his life was just barely starting. But he’d be damned if he let Kageyama or Ushijima beat him at anything. There was silence on the other line for a while, the sound of both their breathing the only noise filling the room. Finally, Iwaizumi broke the silence, sighing once more.

“This isn’t high school anymore. I can’t kick their asses for bullying you,” he spoke, the sound of sheets rustling in the background. Oikawa gave a chuckle, reaching up to itch his eye.

“You act like you aren’t the CEO of the Bully Tooru Club.”

“Shut up, crappykawa.” There it was, the bite he was so familiar with. He let out a low whine, kicking his shoes off and shoving them next to the rack. 

“What am I going to do? Mattsun and Makki will never let me live this down,” he complained, shaking his head with every word, a pout displayed permanently on his lips.

“You better open your yearbook, pick a name, and pray you can still make any girl fall in love with you.” Oikawa gasped, his fingers coming up to cover his mouth.

“Oh my God, Iwa-chan, you’re a genius.” He was absolutely right. In high school, any girl he looked at would swoon and fall head over heels- he even attracted girls from other schools. And now that he was an olympic medalist? How easy would it be to message one of them out of the blue and tell them they had won the grand prize of getting to go on a vacation with the one and only Grand King? He was almost giddy thinking about it. “Too bad I hate geniuses,” he added after, nose scrunching in fake disgust. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Iwaizumi responded, but there was no bite to it. In fact, a bit of a playful laugh could be heard through the receiver. “Don’t you have practice?”

“Mm, later.” Oikawa pulled himself off the floor, walking with purpose through the sizable apartment, a destination in mind. “For now I have to pick out the lucky lady who’s going to be my girlfriend-chan.” Iwaizumi snorted through the phone. “Sweet dreams, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said softly, crouching down to go through his bookshelf. 

“Have a good day, Oikawa,” Iwa responded before hanging the phone up. Oikawa tossed his device to the side, thudding on the plush carpet as he searched for his old yearbook. His mouth was soundlessly repeating the names on all the spines of the books his eyes crossed until finally he found what he was looking for. He almost giggled as he pulled it from its home, having to tug a little extra hard to dislodge it fully. The setter sat cross-legged, blowing dust off the top of the book before letting it fall open on his lap, hundreds of faces from many years ago staring back up at him. He felt like a kid in a candy store with the options he was presented with. One glance toward the clock told him he had hours and hours until his practice began. He was going to take his time and have fun with this.

\---

Well, he was certainly taking his time, but he wasn’t so much ‘having fun with this’. The setter was now red faced from frustration, laying on his stomach as he typed another name into the search engine. Married. Again. As it turns out, finding people that he went to school with was harder than he’d previously believed. This girl was in a relationship, this one and that one were married, he couldn’t message that one, he’d broken her heart twice already, this one had stalked him for a few months in second year. He was getting antsier and antsier and started thinking about what would happen if he couldn’t find anyone at all when he saw you. It was a club photo, you were standing with the photography club in your uniform, bright smile plastered on your cheeks. 

His brows furrowed as he looked closer, bringing the yearbook up to his nose. Why hadn’t he seen you before? He memorized your face and started flipping through the pages, going back and forth until he found you. Ah, you were in the year below him. Not that that mattered now, of course, but it might’ve explained why he hadn’t chased after you in high school. He spoke your full name aloud, just a whisper on his breath. A spike of adrenaline surged through his veins as his trained fingers typed your name into Facebook, a gasp escaping him as he found your profile. 

You looked different. Maybe your hair color had changed, maybe you had more piercings, but one thing was certain, you were twice as hot now as you were then. Oh, you’d be just the right person to make his friends jealous with. He squinted as he scrolled your profile, lip rolling between his teeth. You were single, perfect. And it looked like you still lived in Japan, albeit a different city. That was fine, that was fine. The reunion was based in Tokyo, anyway, and he’d happily pay for your flight out. He kept scrolling, trying to figure out if you’d be able to get time off work for this nonsense. 

Oh, you were self employed. And, by the look of things, doing just fine for yourself as a photographer. Your work was impressive, he had to admit. An olympic medalist and a renowned photographer? What an amazing couple. The entire prefecture would be jealous. He doubted Ushijima’s lovey dovey partner could even compare to you. With a smirk, he scrolled back up, moving to stand up so he could go to practice. It was with confidence that he tapped ‘add friend’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaa i wrote this because there's an offensive lack of fake dating au's for tooru and that isnt legal!!! i hope this isn't a niche where only i exist


	2. who even still uses facebook?

It had been a hard day at work. Your shoes made a harsh thudding noise as you kicked them into their place on the shoe rack from your front door, immediately groaning in relief as you instead slipped into your-much softer-house slippers. Sore and worn out fingers raised to rub at your temples as your feet glided across the carpet expanse of your living room and carried you ever closer to your only goal: the couch. Within moments you’d shuffled close enough to faceplant on the leather surface, landing with only slight pain to your nose and chest. You blinked for a few minutes, laying perfectly still, face down, as you replayed the morning’s events.

It started off perfectly normal, just an average couple getting married in the forest. The scenery was absolutely beautiful, everything you could ask for in a backdrop with the most amazing lighting bleeding through the foliage. You smiled breathlessly as you snapped picture after picture, doing your best to capture the day so these lovebirds could remember it forever. You even made sure to delete the pictures where you could see the groom in the background seemingly flirting with the wedding planner, that was just a bad angle and would cause unnecessary problems. After deleting the offending images, you ran off to the bride-to-be’s bridal suite to get some photos with her team. 

The bride’s side of photos went so smoothly that you were in a great mood when you went to take pictures of the groom’s party. The groomsmen had been drinking already and were making offhand remarks about you, your beauty, what were you doing after this, would you be his date to the wedding, etc.. An awkward and forced laugh jingled from your throat, not sure what else to say without getting fired. The groom rolled his eyes and apologized for their behavior. You accepted with a smile, waving it off like it was no big deal. That was when he winked at you, giving your body a once over before pretending it didn’t happen and moving forward with the photoshoot.

You felt a little nauseous the entire time you were shooting the wedding, bobbing and weaving between guests to get the best possible angles and closeups, but wrote it off completely- knowing it would be over in a few hours. You just had to shoot some couple photos and the reception and you’d be home free. That thought got you through the icky feeling in your stomach as you grinned as wide as possible, offering congratulations as you guided the wedding party through poses. They really were a beautiful couple and photographed wonderfully, like they were trained models feeding off the others energy. It made your job easy. 

The reception was easy enough to get through, bouncing around the room and shooting all the guests making heartfelt toasts and speeches about how they’d known the couple since childhood. No matter how many times you did these types of events it always warmed your heart to hear stories like this, of couples who had fallen in love so young and got to spend the rest of their lives together. The bride and groom were high school sweethearts who planned to start a family as soon as possible after spending so much time in their youth planning for their future. You smiled bittersweetly as you listened to their love story be recanted time and time again through different perspectives and wondered what you’d be doing now if that had been you. 

Would you still live in Miyagi? Would your photography career have gone as far as it had if you had someone dragging you down, drowning you with their own goals and aspirations? What would it be like to come home to someone other than your fish? Oh man, what if they could cook for you? You almost groan at the thought of having a home cooked meal instead of instant noodles after a long day but bite it back, focusing on the task at hand. These people...they really had it all, and they didn’t even know it.

At least, that’s what you thought until the bride and groom approached you before leaving and asked if you’d be interested in having a threesome. Yeah, that threw a wrench in your idolization.

But the most important thing was you were home now, heels off, hair down, and face planted on your couch. You glanced at the clock and whined at the time- 11:26 blaring in bright red lettering. You weren’t charging enough for these all day events. Alright, the first mission needed to be food, the second was a shower, and the third was bed. You reluctantly pushed yourself up from the couch and slid your feet onto the plush carpet below, using most of your strength to stand fully before shuffling into the kitchen. 

Instant noodles did sound kind of appetizing after all...but you remembered you had leftover curry in the fridge and opted to shove that in the microwave instead, heating it for a minute and a half. While you waited for the cold food to revolve and heat up you fumbled through your bag for your cell phone, needing to catch up on everything you’d missed that day. A missed call from your mom- honestly, you had told her you were on site all day today- a few texts from your best friend, and a friend request on Facebook. You pouted at the screen, swiping up to see just who could be disturbing your peace on that app that you barely used anyway. When you saw the name “Tooru Oikawa” pop up, you almost choked on the air.

“Excuse me?!” you exclaimed incredulously, coughing as you inhaled too fast. The beep of the microwave was long forgotten as you scrolled through his page, trying to confirm that it was actually him and not some crazy fangirl impersonating him. No, no, this was him. Only he could think up captions that stupid for his photos. Your mouth was open as you blindly opened the microwave and grabbed your food, walking it to the table and sitting down with a fork to eat. Why the fuck was he bothering you? Wasn’t high school over years ago? As you took a bite of the too hot food and chewed open mouthed to try and cool it down, your fingers worked at the speed of light, bringing up the chat with your friend. 

**wickedlady** : girl i just got a STEAL at the store

**wickedlady** : wait shit are you working

**wickedlady** : pls ignore me my meatbun deal can wait i’m so sorry

Your eyes rolled, choosing to ignore her completely. 

**sailormoon** : bitch fuck ur bun guess who just friend requested me

It took a few bites before she responded, your legs bouncing anxiously for her reply. 

**wickedlady** : omg hi to you too

**wickedlady** : WHO

**sailormoon** : get this

**sailormoon** : oikawa-san

**wickedlady** : WHENWMWKWHEJ

**wickedlady** : FROM HIGH SCHOOL?

**sailormoon** : no from the meatbun store YES FROM HIGH SCHOOL?

**wickedlady** : WHY

**sailormoon** : literally fuck that guy

**wickedlady** : stop he’s still so cute :3

**sailormoon** : .

**sailormoon** : you follow him?

**wickedlady** : ???

**wickedlady** : he was at the olympics this year?

Your eyes widened at that news. You knew he had been serious about volleyball, but you hadn’t heard anything about him at all since he graduated and you kind of thought he had fizzled out of the sport like so many high school athletes. 

**sailormoon** : shut up rn are you serious

**wickedlady** : this is what u get for moving yes it was like big news here

**sailormoon** : oh how will i ever live knowing i’m living a successful life instead of missing oikawa updates

**wickedlady** : SHUT SJEKMSGEKSHSKS

**wickedlady** : he doesn’t even play for japan he plays for argentina

**sailormoon** : THEN WHAT DOES HE WANT WITH MEEEEEEEE

**wickedlady** : UR SO HOT HE PROBABLY REALIZED HE FUCKED UP!!!!!!

**sailormoon** : SHUT UP!!!!! 

**sailormoon** : i’m deleting the request bye

You closed the chat, ignoring your friend and her pleas to just accept the request and see what his problem was. Honestly, his finger probably slipped on the ‘people you may know’ page anyway, and you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of thinking he occupied even one brain cell of yours. You finished off your last bite and swiped back to the Facebook app, quickly deleting the request. “Goodbye, shittykawa,” you whispered as you watched his profile disappear. 

The shower felt more and more inviting the longer you thought about it, wanting to wash off the entire day. You threw your fork in the sink and your takeout container in the trash, stumbling your way into your bedroom before tossing your phone onto the comforter and heading to the bathroom. Once cleansed you fell into your sheets, twisting and turning into their comfort. You picked your phone up once more, checking the time through squinted eyes. 12:32. That was an eighteen hour day. You almost missed the blue notification ringing below the time and date, but your sleep addled mind finally realized what it was. “You’re fucking lying,” you grumbled, opening the blue app once more. ‘Tooru Oikawa has sent you a friend request!’ appeared in your notifications and your mouth dropped at the sheer audacity. You’d just turned him down, what, forty-five minutes ago? 

**sailormoon** : BITCHHHH HE SENT ME ANOTHER REQUEST

**wickedlady** : omg he is in love with you

**sailormoon** : what could he possibly want from me

**wickedlady** : message him!!!

**sailormoon** : no

**sailormoon** : i dont want to talk to him the rest of my life

‘Message Request from Tooru Oikawa!’

**sailormoon** : HE MESSAGED ME?

**wickedlady** : .

**wickedlady** : omg ur gonna hook up with an olympic athlete

**sailormoon** : NO?

**sailormoon** : i’m literally so confused i haven’t talked to him since my second year

**wickedlady** : i’m telling you he saw how hot you are and slid into your dms

**sailormoon** : well he can stay there i’m not opening it

**wickedlady** : YOU’RE KILLING MEEEEEEEEE

**sailormoon** : goodnight <3

You tossed your phone to the other side of the bed, admitting you would probably regret not plugging it into the charger in the morning, but you were too tired to care right now. You tucked yourself into the covers, curling up on your side and snuggling into your copious amount of pillows. You were sure sleep would find you quickly, but instead you were tortured with memories of the past, hurt feelings, and Tooru Oikawa. After your eyes started to sear with the level of exhaustion in your body, you finally groaned and willed your brain to shut down, falling into a dreamless sleep. 

When you woke up, the sun was just barely starting to stream through your blinds, the early morning light muffled by black curtains decorating either side of your window. You groaned loudly, flopping around in your sheets like a fish out of water as you thought about why why why on Earth you were up so early. One arm stretched out, shaking like you were attempting to make a snow angel while you searched for your phone to check the time. Once your fingers locked around the cold plastic case you brought the device and clicked the lock button, whining when you realized it was dead.

Stupid last night (y/n) had cursed early morning (y/n) and you had no one to blame but yourself as you plugged the smart phone onto its charger and stood up from the bed, yawning as you stretched out your limbs. Well, there was no use fighting it. You were up now. Tired legs carried you to the kitchen and you fumbled in your fridge for only a few moments before fingers clutched around the iced coffee you’d stashed on the top shelf a few days ago. With a satisfied smirk, you ripped the seal from the top and discarded it carefully in the trash can before popping the lid off and taking a big chug, head tilting back as you downed nearly half of the contents inside. Fuck, you needed the caffeine today. Why your body had cursed you to such an insufficient amount of sleep was beyond you, but you figured you would make the most out of being awake at such an early hour as you walked to your closet, coffee still firmly grasped in your hand. 

Once clothed in something comfortable, you emerged from your walk-in closet, your coffee nearly empty at this point. You figured enough time had past that your phone might have held somewhat of a charge and sat on your bed before picking up the device, lips curling downward as you read the “19%” on the top of the screen. Well, looks like you were bedbound for a while longer. You sighed and placed the glass bottle on your nightstand, sliding back on the mattress until your back hit the headboard, keeping you propped up as you scrolled through the notifications plaguing your screen and drank them all in. You responded to your mom first, apologizing for not texting her when you got in last night, it had just been so late. That was when you noticed a notification next to your other account- your business account. Quickly changing accounts, you opened the message, hoping you hadn’t offended the potential customer by waiting too long to reply. 

**unknown** : (l/n)-chan~ :D

You squinted at the one worded message, lips mouthing ‘what the fuck’ as you wondered how someone knew your name when your business profile was linked only to a pseudonym. Your thumbs tapped a response while your brows furrowed, not at ease with the situation at all. 

**lunarphoto** : hello! thank you so much for contacting me! my apologies for the late response, i was on site yesterday and always take my customers time seriously. how can i help you?

The message was cookie cutter, something you offered everyone on their first response. Brushing it off, you moved through the rest of your notifications, scrolling through a couple social media feeds to pass time. It didn’t take long at all for your message alert to go off, the unknown sender responding again. You immediately click on the banner, letting it catapult you to the app. 

**unknown** : oh my, so professional!

**unknown** : you don’t have to be so serious with me, it’s just your senpai, oikawa-san~! 

Your blood ran cold, pupils blasting wide. Excuse you? Oikawa? In your text messages? Your professional account’s text messages? The fucking audacity of this man holy—

**lunarphoto** : how did you get this number?

**unknown** : it was on your instagram :)

Fuck, it was. 

**lunarphoto** : ok

Maybe dry conversation was the way to get rid of him. You were about to switch back to your personal account to tell your friend that she wouldn’t fucking believe what just happened when another message rolled in. 

**unknown** : it’s been so long since high school (l/n)-chan, i just wanted to catch up with my favorite kouhai! 

**lunarphoto** : well then why don’t you message them instead?

You couldn’t help the anger coursing through your veins, forcing your fingers to type before your brain could stop you. 

**unknown** : ooh so cold to me~ 

**unknown** : you know i always had eyes for you :(

The scoff that left your mouth couldn’t be held in even if you had tried. 

**lunarphoto** : sure

**lunarphoto** : what do you want?

**unknown** : i wanted to invite you on a personal vacation with yours truly :D

**lunarphoto** : i’m blocking your account. goodbye oikawa-san

**unknown** : WAIT!!!

Your finger was hovering over the block button, wishing with every fiber of your being to press down. What was this guy on? Inviting a perfect stranger on a vacation? Did this...did this method work for him often? You couldn’t imagine anyone being so desperate for him that they put their lives at risk like that- did no one have a concept of stranger danger? However, as badly as you wanted to press down, morbid curiosity washed over you. 

**lunarphoto** : what.

**unknown** : oh you’re still here!

**unknown** : i want to hire you

**lunarphoto** : .

**lunarphoto** : literally what the fuck

**lunarphoto** : listen if you’re that desperate i’m sure you could take a trip to shinjuku and find what you’re looking for with a very nice girl but that’s not me

**lunarphoto** : goodbye

**unknown** : NOT LIKE THAT

**unknown** : really (l/n)-chan :( you think so poorly of your senpai :(

**lunarphoto** : ? yeah

**unknown** : you didn’t have to say it…

**unknown** : i want to hire you as a photographer! :D

The last message made your breath hitch. What? 

**lunarphoto** : how does that correlate with going on vacation with you?

**unknown** : can i facetime you? 

**lunarphoto** : no

**unknown** : PLEASE!!!

**unknown** : i can’t explain it over text

**lunarphoto** : fine. give me five minutes. 

You scrambled off your bed, sprinting for your bathroom where you know your makeup essentials were waiting for you on top of the counter. Sure, you may hate the guy, but there was no reason for you to look like you’d just rolled right out of bed. You said a silent thank you that you’d taken your makeup off last night as you applied a fresh coat of mascara and flicked a pencil through your brows, glancing anxiously at the clock while you dabbed caffeine cream underneath your eyes. You shook your hair out, still heat styled from the wedding yesterday, and marched back out to your bedroom, grabbing your phone as you slammed yourself down onto the bed once more, the once comforting sheets now robbed of every ounce of early morning warmth. Fingers slid up on your lock screen, smiling slightly for the face id. You weren’t sure why you agreed to facetiming with him and chalked it up to nothing more than curiosity at how his statements connected with one another, surely not at all showing him that you had gotten significantly hotter since your time in high school. 

You took a deep breath before fixating a bored expression on your features and tapping the video icon next to his contact information, scowling when an error message popped up. ‘Unable to make video calls to numbers not saved in your contacts!’ So you had to save this asshole’s number? Your mood was souring with every second as you angrily tapped ‘crappykawa’ into the nickname slot, the force with which you tapped the video icon for a second time much stronger than the first. The screen reflected your appearance for a few seconds as a melodious chime sounded throughout your room, waiting for his highness to bother himself to pick up the phone. You had a brief thought of wondering why you hadn’t insisted he call you, why you didn’t make him wait for you, leave him at the will of your fingertips deciding when to grace him with your presence, when the screen shifted ‘connecting…’ displayed in front of your eyes. You swallowed hard, ready to face him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa introducing our beautiful reader!!!! i hope this was coherant and decent i did force my friend to betaread!


	3. connecting...

The screen erupted into pure light, causing you to blink rapidly as your pupils adjusted from your somewhat dark bedroom to the brightly lit area that Oikawa was calling you from. As you blinked a few times, a smiling face came into focus, grin brighter than any light streaming into his room. Ah, yes, you suddenly remembered why everyone in a ten mile radius fawned over him. His hair appeared to be shorter and maybe in a less messy style, but his good looks had only strengthened. Yeah, okay, you may hate the guy, but you would never deny the fact that he was attractive- not even to yourself. 

“(l/n)-chan!” he sang, drawing out the formality and waving at the screen. You kept your best straight face on, looking off screen to distract yourself from how annoyingly cute he was. 

“How can I help you, Oikawa-san?” You turned your attention back to the camera, levying him with a tilted gaze, staring as directly into his eyes as you could. You could see his grin falter, transforming quickly into a pout.

“No small talk, (l/n)-chan? You’re going to hurt my feelings, you know. We haven’t talked since school!” Oikawa was standing, the camera shaking as he stepped a few times, pacing to his new destination. You snorted, chest pulling forward and falling back against your headboard once more- you couldn’t help it.

“We talked once the entire time, Oikawa-san.” Oikawa’s face remained steady and you weren’t able to pick up on his cues, the way his pupils widened just slightly or his lips twitched just the smallest amount, wouldn’t notice the way he blinked once more than what was normal for him. You had talked while you attended school together? That was news to him. It wasn’t that hard to believe- he had girls-and guys, for that matter-confessing their love for him on a daily basis and it wasn’t even necessarily tied to just Aoba Johsai, either. Remembering one face or name in a sea of thousands would be too difficult for him, as much as he hated to admit it. So, instead, he rolled with it, sliding his patio door open and stepping out into the waning sunlight. 

The concentrated setting sun made you squint as Oikawa found a proper place to stand where he’d still look breathtaking but not have to burn his corneas in the process. No wonder the room was so bright, the sideways rays had nowhere to go but in through his windows. “Don’t you want to...expand on that conversation? See what we can build?” The way his chocolate eyes shone was almost convincing, you could half believe that he had positive intentions. But the pit in your stomach was a constant reminder of the fact that it was all lies, churning up a storm of memories inside you.

“No. I don’t think I would ever like to continue that conversation,” you answer bluntly, trying to keep the nausea at bay. “Why did you make me call you?” You were ready for this conversation to be over.

Oikawa was taken aback by your brash refusal of all his flirtations, all his charming facial expressions, all his attempts to make you swoon. What, had he spat on your shoes by accident or something? He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair, chestnut spikes floating perfectly back into place after. “How would you like an exclusive invitation to photograph olympic volleyball athletes? No other press is invited, and you can sell the pictures to whoever you want.” His words make your eyes fly open, lips parting slightly as you soak the information in. A chance like that...is big. Olympic athletes...and he had the clout to back it up, he absolutely could be telling the truth and you could be doing the biggest shoot of your career. There was just one thing plaguing your mind like a red flag. 

“What does this have to do with going on a vacation with you…?” you sk slowly, cocking a brow as your head tilts further, trying to connect the dots that seemed to be miles away. Oikawa only smirked, placing a hand over his chest, close to his heart. 

“Well, my dear (l/n)-chan~” Oh, this was gonna be rich. “To get close to your precious volleyball players you have to be close to me first, hm? I can bring you there as my date and you’ll blend right in.” You couldn’t help it, you laughed right in his face.

“Lose my number.” The sheer fucking audacity of this man, oh my fuckin-

“(L/N)-CHAN WAIT!” he yelled, pulling his phone closer as if that would somehow bring him close enough to pause your movements. It really was against your better judgement, but you’d gotten this far with him, right? And the crazier he got, the better a story you got to tell your best friend as soon as you hung up. Your eyes rolled and you crossed your other arm under your chest, shooting your best glare into the camera.

“If you say something else that’s fucking creepy I’m blocking you and sending an anonymous message to one of your fan blogs, and don’t think I won’t follow through on that.” You raised a finger in warning as Oikawa breathed a sigh of relief, slumping against the wall of his patio and sliding down it. 

“(l/n)-kun, I’m going to be honest with you.” That was new. Your expression was blank as you waited for him to continue, offering him no encouragement. He took in a deep breath, seeing you were just going to let him ramble. He was pouting again, but this time it looked like he was pouting at himself, almost. Like he was frustrated he had to admit this- it certainly wasn’t a trick to try and win you over, that’s for sure. “...I told my friends I was in a serious relationship with a beautiful woman, and I’m...not...and I need you to pretend to be in a relationship with me...so my friends don’t bully me,” he trailed off, pout only growing. There was no way he was glancing back at the screen so he definitely missed the way your phone almost went tumbling to the mattress. 

Like, what? Hello? He wanted you...to pretend to be his girlfriend? On a vacation? Your face was shuffling through expressions faster than you had originally believed possible, trying to make heads or tails of this situation. “How...how…” You bit back your original comment of ‘how fucking stupid can you be’ and replaced it instead with “How did you get wrapped up in this?” Your tone was exasperated, wondering how he could still be involved in high school drama almost ten years later. 

Oikawa groaned, rubbing at his face with the hilt of his palm in quick circles, like he was trying to disappear from your vision completely, erasing himself down to nothing. “I don’t know,” he whined, lying. He knew exactly how- he had a fat mouth that got him into trouble more often than it got him into good graces. “They were teasing me about no one-- about my career being too pressing to be in a relationship and I just...snapped. I couldn’t stop myself.” His breath came out in a huff.

Shitty friends. You kept the thought to yourself but couldn’t stop imagining yourself in his shoes- meaning, you knew you would never wind up there. Your friends would never bully you for prioritizing your career over a silly relationship. You sighed, rubbing your eyes with your left hand. “What does this have to do with me?” You weren’t offering him any comfort, that was for damn sure.

“Oh, (l/n)-chaaan....” That saccharine sing-song tone was back, replacing any form of despair you guessed you’d heard in his voice earlier. The switch was so quick, it made you blink, head shifting back slightly. Could he change emotions that fast? And if he couldn’t, which was real and which was the act? “I found your picture in our yearbook, you see. I couldn’t resist myself from asking someone as beautiful and talented as you are to accompany me. You’d be the only one capable of matching myself so well.” A smirk curled on his lips as a blush creeped over your cheeks without your permission from his flattery. “Only (l/n)-chan could really stick it to those assholes and make sure they never doubt me again.”

You scowled as best as possible, gaze diverting from the screen as your free hand ran up the bicep of the one propping your device up. He was just- so fucking presumptuous. “I’m sorry, Oikawa-san. I just don’t think I would ever want to date you, pretend or otherwise.” You only turned your pointed gaze back to the screen after your last word, cocking your head and offering a condescending smile. 

Yes, a part of you was deeply enjoying this.

Oikawa, on the other hand, was feeling his ego crack deep inside his chest. Oh. Hm. Maybe his friends were right, after all. No, no, he wouldn’t let himself think like that. What was your problem, anyway? What kind of shitty luck did he have, striking out on every girl he messaged? At least everyone else had had decent excuses, some even expressing their deepest regret for not being able to date him instead of starting families. So why were you giving him such a hard time? “I’ll pay you.” The words fell from his lips without him considering their weight, similarly to how he got himself in this mess in the first place.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “There’s not enough mon-”

“One million yen.”

Alright, maybe there was enough money.

“Excuse me?” You were leaning forward, almost choking on your words.

“One million yen for ten days of your time, plus all the photos you can take of pro players. All you have to do is be the perfect doting girlfriend-chan,” he cooed, knowing he had your attention now. 

“D-don’t be stupid, Oikawa, you shouldn’t blow that kind of money on something this fucking stupid.” you were spluttering, the honorific falling from his name in your shocked state. 

“Oh, (l/n)-chan, I’m an Olympic medalist,” he drawled, emphasizing the word ‘medalist’, making sure you knew he had placed- and wasn’t just some silly little competitor. “This is just pocket change to me.” Well, what was pocket change was life changing to you. That was...that was a hundred thousand yen a day, according to his schedule. And, sure, you could charge that much on a good day, having ten of those days in a month- let alone in a row- just didn’t happen as often as you’d like. You could...you could expand, maybe hire a partner, maybe rent out a studio and start offering different kinds of photoshoots. And with exclusive shots of Olympic volleyball stars...the invitations to other sporting events could come rolling in from all sides. You chewed on your lip as you thought of the pros, the negatives far, far, from your mind as the list only grew. Oikawa was nearly sweating from the back of his neck in anticipation. 

Honestly? It was a lot of money, even for him. And his accountant would definitely call it ‘reckless spending’. However, he knew it was the only way to land you hook, line, and sinker. You were still debating all the wonderful possibilities when you heard your last name being called from miles away. You blinked a few times, coming back to the world when you heard it again. “(l/n)-kun? Did you hear what I said? I’d be happy to repeat an epic tale of how I took the oly-”

“Shut up, you’re ruining my train of thought,” you grumbled, scrunching your eyes shut again. Okay. Okay. There had to be catches to this. “Where is it?”

He was thrilled. More importantly, he was winning you over. “Just outside of Tokyo. Don’t worry, I’ll provide all travel and lodging myself, of course. I wouldn’t want to be a bad boyfriend, hm?” Your brows twitched at his use of the word ‘boyfriend’, avoiding the memories that flashed across dark lids. You instead scrunched up your nose, trying not to regret the words that haven’t even left your mouth yet.

“When is it?” It wasn’t admitting defeat, but he absolutely had you in check. He knew that. 

“Oh? Just in over a month, (l/n)-chan~”

“Fine.”

Checkmate.

“What?” He didn’t believe you at first. Your eyes were still squeezed shut as tight as you could make them. To be fair, you weren’t sure you believed yourself, either.

“Don’t make me say it again, shittykawa,” you groaned, refusing any kind of familiarity at this point. That didn’t stop him from gasping, covering his mouth with one hand.

“Oh, (l/n)-chan, you’ll fit in so well with my friends,” he mumbled, scrambling to stand back up on his patio. The sun was almost fully set now and Oikawa decided to head back inside, locking the door behind him before flicking on the lights.

“Am I supposed to feel insulted?” You’d just been internally insulting his friends, after all. Of course, he wouldn’t know that, but the offense was all the same. 

It was too early to start drinking. You had to keep reminding yourself of that fact as you stood from your bed and started walking towards the kitchen. 

“I’d never want to insult my beautiful little girlfriend-chan!” You had to tilt the phone down and away from your face to hide the fact that his little passive compliment made you flustered, unwittingly giving Oikawa a great look at your body. His eyebrows raised, taking you in. Ah, yeah, he’d made a good choice.

“Never mind that,” you mumbled, pulling the camera up once you had regained your resting bitch face, “how are we gonna pull this off, anyway?” 

Oikawa smiled in your direction, twirling a spike of his hair between his fingers. “We’ll talk every day until we leave, learn everything a loving couple should know about each other. I’ll send you your plane ticket, the schedule, and let you know what hotel we’ll be staying at- in a suite with separate rooms, of course.” 

Your eyes squinted, processing all the information. He’d clearly put a lot of work into this- it was very well thought out. Alright- it was worth exploring. You opened your fridge, grabbing an energy drink; coffee just wasn’t enough for you today. Cracking it open, you walked to your couch, tossing yourself haphazardly while you took a sip. The silence was making Oikawa nervous- wondering if you were already regretting the decision and wanted to call it off. You were honestly his last hope, not that he’d clue you into that.

You weighed the words on your tongue before you spoke them, wondering just how deep you were willing to dive down the rabbit hole.

“Alright. Tell me, when’s your birthday?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we--  
> it's about to shift into xgames mode guys


	4. as i'll ever be

Your hand curled nervously around the strap of your backpack, lower lip nursed between your teeth as you stared at the gate. It was now or never, the final boarding call had just been announced and you were one of the only stragglers left that still needed to gather their items and find their seat. Did you really wanna do this? You could technically still back out...maybe reimburse Oikawa for the ticket, apologize, and tell him you just had no desire to pretend to be his girlfriend for ten fucking days. 

But every time you talked to him, he just sounded so desperate, so grateful to you for coming to his rescue in his time of need. And, as much as you hated to admit it, something about having Seijoh’s king revere you like you were an angel sent from heaven to save him (even if it was just from humiliation) was...satisfying. As much as you had disliked him, the power balance being flipped really just did something for you, and the idea of him grovelling on his knees is what pushes you forward the first step towards the gate.

The rest of the way was the promise of a large sum of money and possible business opportunities. 

The flight itself wasn’t horrible- you’d paid for in flight wifi and had been able to get a fair amount of work done. Not a lot of turbulence, had good snacks, no one was seated nearby. But you did have to deal with your friend texting you every twenty minutes, too eager for you to land. 

**wickedlady** : omg have you seen him yet

**sailormoon** : i am in the air

**wickedlady** : WHEN DO YOU LAND

**sailormoon** : ???

**sailormoon** : i’m not the pilot why would i know

**wickedlady** : did you land

**sailormoon** : no

**wickedlady** : are you there yet

**sailormoon** : no

**wickedlady** : are you gonna sleep with him?

**sailormoon** : i am sooooo close to blocking your number forever

**wickedlady** : IT WAS A VALID QUESTION >:(

By the time you had finally landed, you didn’t even update her because you were absolutely positive she would text you in the uber to the hotel with the way she’d been harassing you on a set schedule. And you were right, pausing your conversation with the driver to answer her call. “Hello?”

“I have your location, you know.”

“Mhm, I did give you access to that to make sure I don’t get killed.” You were kind of glad she brought that topic up, actually. It was always a good idea when you were in a strangers car to make sure they know you have people looking out for you. 

“You just weren’t gonna tell me when you landed?”

“I knew you would call me eventually,” you sighed, shifting around to check your backpack to make sure you had everything you needed to get ready once you got to the hotel. The event had blocked out a floor for the reunion and there was going to be a big welcome party in the ballroom. You were cutting it close, your flight not giving you enough time to check in, do your makeup, get dressed, and still make it down in time, so you had packed essentials in your carry on and were going to change in the powder room of the lobby, then leave your luggage with the front desk and meet Oikawa at the party.

“That’s besides the point!” your friend sighed, the sound of rustling sheets on the other line could be heard and you were sure she was lying down. 

“Are you gonna come visit me while I’m so close to home, or what?” you asked, ignoring her response completely. She groaned, the pout in her voice almost audible.

“I’m gonna try! I don’t wanna interrupt you and Oikawa-chan falling in love, though!” You snorted, zipping your bag back up.

“I promise, whatever you interrupt, it’s not gonna be that. Maybe me beating his ass, or something. But not that.”

“You never know, once upon a time y--”

“I’m actually going through a tunnel right now, gotta go! Love you!” You hit the red phone icon on the call, heart racing at just the idea of the topic being brought up. Whatever she had wanted to stay could stay in the past, for all you could care. “So,” you sighed, turning your attention back to the driver. “Where were we?”

\---

The glossy red wand made one final pass over your lower lip before being tucked back into the clear plastic tube, lips rubbed together before being pouted in the mirror, making sure you were completely put together. Random passerby had complimented you, sure, but you were still nervous about not looking perfect, about others being able to see through you and your little facade. One glance down to your watch made your nerves churn worse, knowing you had little to no time left. In fact, the event had started about a half hour ago, and you were now pushing your luck on being fashionably late. 

So it was with quick steps that you turned your luggage into the front desk, through gritted teeth that you informed the person at the counter that your reservation was under ‘Oikawa’, and with a shaky breath that you entered the ballroom, nearly wobbling in your heels despite years of wearing them. 

Your first stop was to the open bar, ordering a shot of tequila and knocking it back with ease to calm your nerves. Once you’d choked that down, you nursed a vodka-cran, trying to make yourself as small as possible while you surveyed the room. It was full- mostly with big, burly men accompanied by their partners, almost every single person was taller than you. Which wasn’t intimidating, not even a little. 

You slid the strap on your dress up farther nervously, glancing everywhere but directly in front of you, and ended up face first into a broad back. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry!” you spoke before you could even figure out what had happened, waving your hands in front of you as you stepped back. “Oh, God, ow,” you complained after, feeling the sting of pain in your nose. Slowly, the wall you had run into turned around, looking down at you with a stern gaze. You nearly cowered in fear, shrinking under his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Oh, you hadn’t been expecting that.

“Ah, yeah, I think so, I’m sorry I ran into you.” You rubbed at your nose, offering the dark haired man with furrowed brows a small smile. 

“You didn’t play volleyball, I would’ve remembered.” It wasn’t a question, or a statement even. It was just...like he was speaking his thoughts. 

“Oh, no, I didn’t. I’m here with someone,” you offered, moving to take a sip of your drink. You could see him about to ask who when you felt a hand snaking around your waist, jumping a little at the sensation of fingers against your dress. When you turned to look at who was now firmly tugging you to their side, your breath caught in your throat. Beautiful chocolate spikes fell into perfect position, an annoyed smirk dancing on his delicate features, a lavender dress shirt buttoned almost to the top, the collar smoothed out perfectly.

“Waka-chan, is there some reason you’re bothering my girlfriend?” His voice...his fucking voice. You quickly overwrote your surprised expression with the most believable smile you could conjure in no time at all, hoping your eyes were filled with love and adoration as opposed to anger and shock. 

“Oh, there you are, honey. I was looking for you everywhere- couldn’t find you.” The words had a bitter edge to them- it was true, you’d been scanning the room for the setter when you ran into who you now knew to be Ushijima Wakatoshi, someone Oikawa had beef with for some reason. He’d given you a rundown of his enemies- the list was rather large- before you arrived in some attempt of saying you should also have beef with them, as it was only the loving thing to do.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” you internally wince at the pet name, “there was an issue with checking in, but I’ve taken care of it, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” He had finally turned to look at you, and, like, honestly, maybe he was a better actor than you remembered because for a second you could forget this was fake and that he wasn’t in love with you for real. Almost- until you remembered the foreign feeling of his hand on your waist and had to fight to keep from pushing it off. 

“Ah,” you responded simply, turning back to your visibly confused guest. “You must be Ushijima-san, it’s lovely to finally meet you.” You ignored Oikawa’s pointed snort and slight flexing of his arm around you in favor of giving your head a small bow, glancing at Oikawa’s shiny dress shoes while you did. 

“Oikawa, it’s good to see you again. I wasn’t aware you were dating anyone.” His attention turned to you, and as you lifted your head again, strands of hair returning to their natural position with ease. “What’s your name?” 

“Oh, my apologies! I’m (l/n) (f/n).”

“Yes, and you can call her (l/n). Or, even better, you can just not call her anything. Come on, (y/n)-chan,” he spoke your first name in a pointed matter, almost like he was asserting his dominance. You were glad he had already steered you around, because the way your eyes rolled could probably be seen from space. 

“It was nice to meet you, Ushijima-san!” you call over your shoulder, offering a small wave to the man who still looked as confused as his stoic expression could allow. Once you had decided you’d left politely enough, you threw your elbow into Oikawa’s ribs, stepping to the side. “You’re late.”

“Ouchie! Hey, you’re gonna cause a scene!” His lips formed a pout, reaching up to rub at his side as he stared at you. “My flight was delayed, were you waiting long?” You debated lying and saying yeah, you’d been here for an hour, but as you sipped at your drink you decided to take a small amount of mercy on him.

“No, it’s only been a few minutes.” Oikawa’s grin grew at that, seemingly feeling better that he wasn’t totally failing at his role as your boyfriend already- even if it was just fake. “Was...was your flight...okay?” This was awkward. How were you supposed to talk to him? You hadn’t said hello, hadn’t expressed the shock of seeing each other after years apart- how could you, when you’d told everyone you’d just been with him a month prior? 

“What a good girlfriend-chan, so worried for her boyfriend-sama, huh?” 

“I will literally get on the next flight back home, don’t test me, Oikawa.” Oikawa’s eyes went wide and he had to stop himself from slapping a hand over your mouth before scanning the room, making sure no one heard. You saw his reaction, brows pushing together while you downed the rest of your drink, fingertips catching a drop of red sliding down the corner of your lips before it could stain your makeup. “What happened?” you asked, following his glance around the room.

“I don’t want anyone to hear you calling me that,” he explained, the pout clear in his voice. “It only makes sense that you would call me Tooru, right?” Your eyes widened, the idea of dropping honorifics with him was already hard for you, but calling him by his first name? Like, fuck, it made sense, but wasn’t that too much? “Oh, come on, if you can call me crappykawa like Iwa, I’m sure you can choke out my first name,” he sighed, placing two hands on your shoulders. 

“Sure, right, I can do that...T-Tooru?” His name comes out as a near squeak, and, like, it isn’t even your fault. Calling people their first names was always really really hard for you. Especially when you didn’t particularly care for the person. Sure, you and Oikawa had gotten a little closer after learning so much about each other over the last month, but that didn’t mean by any means that you were ready to throw your arms around him, giggle, and cry out ‘Tooru-chan!’ like he wanted you to. 

“...It needs some work.”

“Do you want me to go back to crappykawa? I can arrange that,” you snapped, placing your glass down and wiping the sweat from your palms on your dress. Oikawa’s whine made you smile, something genuine as you looked back up at him. “I’m gonna do my best, I promise. Just don’t panic if I slip up a couple times, okay?” 

The way you look at him makes the breath in his throat feel sticky, like he can’t exhale or inhale properly, so why try. He has vague memories of you in high school, but he can’t help but wish he’d paid more attention to you- that he’d gotten to know more of you like this, instead of being so cold to him. “Aw, (y/n)-chan, you’re just so cute.” his voice was singsong- and it wiped the happy expression right off your lips, eyes going near-dead again. “Wa-”

“Oi, Oikawa!” Both your heads turned as his name was called, yours cocking to the side as you studied the person approaching you. A beefy build- larger than Oikawa- cropped black hair, and a smirk that informed you he knew exactly what the situation between you two was.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa left your side, immediately running over to his childhood best friend and embracing him. The sight was honestly endearing- not a drop of toxic masculinity as the two hugged it out, holding each other close, Oikawa telling the latter how much he missed him, Iwa responding and telling him to move back and play for the Japan team, then.

“Oh, Iwa-chan. I don’t play for losing teams, you know that.”

“Oh, that’s why you never went to nationals, right?” you teased, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow. Both men looked over to you, Iwaizumi laughing, Oikawa’s mouth dropped in shock.

“(y/n)-chan, you’re supposed to be on my side!” he whined, coming back over to your side. You couldn’t help it, you giggled, turning away from his gaze and pushing a hand over your lips. Oikawa took the time to look at his friend, motioning to you, trying to convey the words ‘she’s perfect for this’ without saying them. 

For his part, Iwaizumi did agree- out of the slew of people Oikawa had sifted through trying to find a suitable date, it wasn’t just that you were the first one available. You were the best of the bunch- the least likely to screw him over, want something more than he was willing to give, or end up being creepily obsessed with him. “Good to see you again, (l/n)-kun. He’s taking care of you?”

You smiled at Iwaizumi, fixing your hair while nodding. “Mhm, paying me handsomely- wouldn’t be here otherwise. You’re doing well, I hear?” You’d been clued in to Iwaizumi’s knowledge of your little fake-dating plan, but, if the confused look on Oikawa’s face was any kind of indicator, he hadn’t personally been clued in to the fact that the two of you already knew each other.

“How do you know Iwa-chan?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“He was my teacher’s assistant in my third year, something about pre-rec’s before you went overseas, right? How was that, anyway?” You had turned back to Iwaizumi, wanting to catch up with him, but Oikawa didn’t let you. He shook his head, feeling something deep in his stomach that he couldn’t quite place.

“Hey, you can catch up with the loser of the olympics later- don’t you wanna know what it’s like in Argentina?” You rolled your eyes, remembering exactly why you didn’t wanna do this- he always had to be the center of attention, and there wasn’t room for anyone else in his winners circle.

“No.”

“God, I missed you,” Iwa chuckles, taking a sip of his own drink while Oikawa flounders. “Anyway, I got the other two over there, they really wanna meet this one.” He motions behind him, at a table where two other men sit- one very tall and scary, the other with fluffy pink hair. You cracked a grin at the difference between the two as they bantered, clearly deep in a loving conversation, sparing glances in your direction every now and again- then back to you once more. “Think you’re ready for that?” The question was directed at his friend, not you- you weren’t the one he was worried about.

Oikawa put on an award winning smile, and you had to admit, he really looked amazing. He’d filled out significantly since high school- something in the food overseas must have helped him bulk up, or something, because he was nearly twice as broad as you remember. His hair was shorter, but it looked so good- so manly on him. He’d transformed from a teenage heartthrob to a full blown...hunk, you guessed would be the best way to describe him, and you understood how easy it would be to slide under his thumb once more, to fall prey to the well oiled machine that was Tooru Oikawa. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get the whoooollleee party in one chapter, but god i just cannot condense things and it was getting long- so our lil reader will meet matsumaki next chapter i promise!!  
> 


	5. and then there was one

Oikawa held your hand tightly- not like you were a lifeline and he was drowning at sea- no, more like you were an olympic gold medal, and he was just about ready to shove you in the face of everyone who had ever told him he couldn’t make it. Your eyes locked onto his slender fingers while he guided you to the table where his friends sat, admiring their value. These hands had carried him to his dreams all throughout his childhood, adolescence, and now through his adult life, as well. He knew he could rely on his fingertips to take him exactly where he needed to go- he had trained them to.

It made you glance down at your own fingertips- emblazoned in a red polish specifically for this event- and you couldn’t help but feel like they were inferior. The slight crook to your pointer finger that captured images on an endless cycle felt like nothing compared to the callouses grazing over the back of your palm that lifted volleyballs skyward, spiked them to victory. 

You tore your gaze from the appendages when Oikawa’s throat cleared, calling all five of you to attention. A glossy smile was quickly laminated over your features, hand squeezing onto your date’s tightly as you fell into his embrace a little easier, playing your part flawlessly. Iwaizumi, who had travelled with you, simply slid into the chair closest to the pink haired man, watching both him and his partner intensely, smirk emblazoned onto his lips behind the cup he brought to them.

“Boys,” Oikawa greeted. 

It was the taller man who looked up at you first, eyes immediately going wide as he smacked the shoulder of the one next to him. Once his eyes were on you as well, you could feel them travelling your body. It was a somewhat uncomfortable feeling, and you began to speak- just to shock both of their gazes back to your face. “It’s so nice to meet you both, Tooru told me so much about you,” you greeted, teeth gritting when you had to use his first name. 

“Holy shit, she’s real,” the pink haired one muttered.

“She’s hot,” the tall one finished. 

Oh. Well, that fluffed your ego a bit. Oikawa’s brow twitched for just a second- not that you could see it.

“Yes, my girlfriend-chan is very beautiful, keep your filthy eyes off of her.” You lifted your head at the sentiment, a little grateful that he had caught onto the trajectory of their eyes. 

“It’s...Hanamaki-san and Matsukawa-san, right? I heard I caused a little bet amongst the four of you a bit ago.” You thanked Oikawa as he pulled the chair next to Iwaizumi out before letting yourself slide into the seat, leaning both your arms forward onto the table, propping your elbow up and letting your chin rest in the cup of your palm. “Too bad Tooru always wins.” 

Oikawa’s mouth nearly dropped with how well you defended him, how easy it was for you to come to his aid, how...natural it was. But, instead, he just placed himself directly beside you, one arm wrapped around the back of your chair and the other leaned forward onto the table, shooting his friends a smirk. 

“Not always though, huh? How’s that silver medal treating you?” Matsukawa spoke, returning his friend's smirk with ease. 

“Better than the nothing you have,” Oikawa shot back with a wink. You couldn’t help but to laugh, finally turning your gaze and covering your mouth with the tips of your fingertips. 

“You can call them Makki and Mattsun,” Iwa offers, chuckling along with you. Makki nods, leaning back with his drink in hand.

“I don’t even care about losing out on the money, I really couldn’t believe crappykawa could pull anyone, let alone someone like you.” You scrunched up your nose, looking from him back up to Oikawa. His melted milk chocolate eyes were rolling, clearly used to the teasing. Having a friendship full of teasing was something that you deeply enjoyed but this...you couldn’t quite place it, but something felt excessive.

The reminder that you were only here because he was paying you handsomely to fool his friends into thinking he was desirable enough to be in a relationship with him, not just hook up with him, was ever present in the back of your mind. That’s enough to make you reach over and grab his hand, letting them rest on the table and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just lucky,” you sighed, trying your best to fill your gaze with love. 

“Aw, (y/n)-chan, you really do love me, huh? I don’t know how you got so lucky either. Come here, give me a smoochie~” He puckered up to you, making kissy noises and leaning in close. Your eyes rolled, giving a genuine laugh before dropping his hand and shoving him away. Something about the way you were both laughing, his face scrunched up while he tried to pull you closer, letting you playfully beat at his shoulder, made you completely forget that you were surrounded by a crowd of strangers.

They all looked around at each other, Mattsun and Makki shooting Iwaizumi a confused glance, to which he just shrugged, crossing his arms and motioning to them. Sure, he knew it was all a farce- but the way you and Oikawa were putting on a show? If he wasn’t in on the joke, he’d be wondering himself how his childhood friend had found someone so perfectly matched for him. 

The rest of the night, no one bothered to bring up the fact that you and Oikawa had started dating out of thin air, that no one had ever heard him mention your name before, or that your interaction with each other was slowly warming into something a lot more intimate than when you had first sat down.

\---

“I’m so fucking tired, oh my god,” you complained, holding your heels in your hand while you stumbled down the carpeted hallway.

“That went on for forever,” Oikawa agreed, the top buttons to his dress shirt already unbuttoned, sleeves pushed up to his elbows while he ran a hand through his hair. “I thought it was just gonna be a quick dinner.” 

You groaned, pulling your phone up to your face and pressing the lock button to illuminate the screen. The late hour shone in your eyes almost mockingly, before dimming once more. “Fuck, and you guys have an early day tomorrow, right? Do you need me for that? Please say you don’t, I’m so tired.” You sighed, pausing to let Oikawa lead the way when you realized you didn’t know where you were going.

“That’s your call, (y/n)-chan~ You’re the one who wanted to come take pictures of beautiful men playing volleyball, it would be a shame for you to miss morning warm ups. Unless, of course, you want to admit you came all this way just for a chance to spend some time with m-”

“No, no, I’ll be there,” you grumbled, waving him off before he could finish his thought. Oikawa pouted, sighing before waving a hand at you, too tired from his long flight to put up much of a fight or tease you too intensely. 

“Alright, sleeping beauty, the room should be around here...three-oh-four...there we go.” Oikawa finally steps in front of a dark oak door, tapping the card in his hand against the sensor and waiting for it to light up green before twisting the knob and shouldering the wood open. You followed after him, muttering your thanks as he held the door open for you. One look around the hotel room made all the exhaustion hit your body all at once, ready to shower and slide into foreign sheets. 

Your suitcases sat by the couch, yours sitting so close to Oikawa’s they were nearly touching at the sides. The sight made you uneasy for some reason, the way they were so near to each other feeling almost...foreboding. 

“Okay, well, goodnight!” you chimed, ready to end this day here and now. You stepped further into the living space, glancing around with tired eyes. “Do you have a preference as to which r-- Oikawa, why is there only one door?” 

The door to the bathroom was propped open, revealing the- admittedly, very nice- shower/bath combo and ample counter space. However, other than that room, there was really only one other door attached to the main room. Panic coursed through your blood as you spun on your heel, head cocked accusingly. 

You took back every positive thought you’d ever had for Oikawa Tooru, anger joining the panic as you realized he dragged you out here and just expected you to- what, jump into bed with him? Just like all his adoring fans? No, absolutely not. And that fake panic he was putting on wasn’t cutting it- the way he searched the room, acting all confused, was cute, sure, but your foot stamped to pull his attention back to you.

“No, that must just be a really weird design, the other room has to be attached--” He abandoned you in the living room in favor of throwing the bedroom door open and rushing through it. You heard a banging noise a moment later followed by a groan. “This has to be a mistake,” he exclaimed, reappearing in the doorway.

“Oh, yeah, sure, a real convenient mistake for you, huh? I cannot fucking belie-”

“(y/n), listen to me, this isn’t-- I didn’t-- let me call the front desk, I’ll get this fixed.”

“Oh, you’ll get this fixed or I’m getting on the next flight home, Oikawa.” You poured as much venom as you could into your words, sitting down on the couch and crossing your arms. Your eyes were narrowed into slits, the meanest glare you were capable of conjuring staring the setter down. Oikawa glanced at you and visibly shivered, a cold sweat pouring down the back of his neck. 

This was...not good, he decided. Not only had he promised you your own room, but like, he had paid for the bigger suite, so what gives? Nursing his lip between his teeth nervously, he went back into the bedroom, ready to chew out the front desk worker. You waited (angrily) for him to finish the call, pursing your lips and shaking your head in pure disbelief. It was so late- it was so fucking late. The thought of even having to move rooms was fucking exhausting. 

“What do you mean?!” came streaming from the room at a much higher volume than the rest of the conversation and you felt your soul nearly leave your body. That...that didn’t sound good. You immediately stood up and ran to the door frame, grimacing when you saw that not only was there only one room- there was only one bed. “Listen, listen, I don’t normally like to throw this around, but,” Oikawa began to rationalize with the person on the other side of the line. “I’m an olympic athlete! You can’t jus-- Yes, I realize that this entire hotel is full of olympic athletes, but none of them placed, I howe-- Yes, it’s a silver meda-- Yeah, well goodnight to you too!” 

The phone was slammed back down onto the receiver loudly, making you flinch. You watched his back as he fell back onto the bed, putting his head in his hands. You...almost felt bad for him. Almost. 

“So...how’d it go?” you asked sarcastically, rubbing your own temple. Oikawa’s head shot up, chocolate waves bouncing carelessly from the movement. He shot his eyes over to you, nothing short of pure panic in his eyes. He hadn’t heard you enter, hadn’t realized you’d heard his conversation.

“(y/n)...” he started, standing up and shakily walking to you before grabbing your hand in his and holding it in both of his. You nearly yanked it back, but his tight grip prevented it. He stared deeply into your eyes, making you crank your neck upwards, cowering under his intense gaze. “You have to believe me, I-- I paid good money for the extra room, they said there was a mixup, but they’re booked solid because of the event. I tried, please, please don’t go home.” Was he...begging you? You raised your brows at him, trying to seem intimidating still. “I don’t...I don’t think I could handle the humiliation if I had to tell everyone you left.” His eyes finally fell from yours, his grip slackening on your hand. 

If your heart could stop aching, that would be fabulous. He was playing downright dirty, knowing exactly how to pull at your emotions. You were holding your breath until you couldn’t anymore, his puppy dog eyes getting the best of you. With a loud sigh, you exhaled finally, covering your eyes with your other hand. “Fine.”

“You mean you’ll stay?”

“Please don’t make me say it again,” you whimpered, staring at the blackness behind your fingers. Sight or not, you could feel the excited energy pouring from Oikawa’s pores, could hear the smile in his voice, hand accepting the new pressure he applied to it.

“Oh, (y/n)-chan, you really must be in love with me!” Your hand dropped from your eyes, shooting him a glare. “I’ll sleep on the couch, you can have the bed,” he quickly backtracked, hiding his grin.

“Don’t be stupid,” you groaned, ripping your hand from his and rubbing at your wrist like he hurt you. “You’re the stupid athlete- I don’t need your coach or whatever yelling at me because I let you throw your back out. I can sleep on the couch. I’m sure it...pulls out, or something.” You looked over your shoulder at the offending piece of furniture, scrunching up your face. It didn’t look uncomfortable or anything, but...it certainly wasn’t the luxurious mattress you’d been dreaming of. 

“I would never let you do that.” His voice sounded so serious, it shocked you into looking back over to him, your own eyes wide. “Please, I insist.”

“...And so do I.”

“Well, I guess that settles it,” Oikawa said with a sigh, pushing past you gently to go retrieve his suitcase. 

“...Settles what?” you asked, twisting your torso to follow him. 

“We’ll just have to share.”

“You’re fucking insane.” Your voice was deadpan, not even bothering to humor him or his stupid ass plan.

“Oh, come on, (y/n), we’re both adults, it’s a king size bed.” He leans up from where he had bent to lift his suitcase by the handle, placing his other hand on his hip, pushing one out while he stared at you like  _ you _ were the crazy one. 

“Yeah? And you’re some creepy guy I don’t know, why would I-- you’re insane,” you repeated, gesturing wildly with your hands, head shaking back and forth.

“Creepy? I resent that!” He gasped, hand flying over his heart instead while his mouth dropped open. “You’re making this a bigger deal then it is. Unless...don’t tell me, you really are in love with me and are too nervous to admit it, aren’t you? It’s okay (y/n)-chan, you don’t have to be subtle around me~”

“You are the most self absorbed person I’ve ever met,” you laughed, stomping over to him to rip your own suitcase from him. The heat in your blood was making you make rash decisions, you knew it, but you were playing his hand anyway. “Fine, we’ll share a bed- but I’m a real aggressive sleeper, so if you get shoved off the bed that’s on you. And!” you spoke up, thinking of another point while you dragged your stuff towards the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower first!” With a slam, the bathroom door shut, making the frame quiver.

What...had you...just agreed to? 

\---

Twenty minutes later and you were inhaling the crisp and overly starched bleach scent from the hotel’s tiny white towels, another wrapped around your body as best possible. Your skincare routine was complete, body cleansed of any travel  _ ick _ . You’d had time to calm down, realize what you’d said to Oikawa, and moved on. Sure, you could go back on your word, but that felt counter productive. No, as you pulled on your pajama set, you were positive that this was the best move. 

With one more glance in the mirror, you puffed your cheeks up completely before exhaling, then packed your items back up and left the foggy room, shoulder checking Oikawa on the way out. “Don’t wake me up,” you grumbled, keeping your head pointed to the ground. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, darling~” His singsong voice really could start to get annoying, you realized. You stood in front of the bed, staring the massive thing down like it owed you money. And, you supposed, it technically did owe someone money...Oikawa should be getting a really nice credit for this fuck up. 

Well. Staring at it wasn’t gonna do anything. You set to work gripping the cotton sheets, yanking them to and fro and pulling spare blankets down from the closet until you had fashioned something that looks like a miniature bed on either side, separated by an entire wall of pillows. That...that was gonna have to make do, you decided, plugging your charger over on the left side of the bed. After a quick text to your friend, promising to call her during practice in the morning, during a downtime you could put your camera away for, you hooked the device to the cord and set it on the nightstand. 

You were determined to be in bed by the time Oikawa came from the shower- which had just turned off. So you quickly slid into the silky sheets, letting out the world’s tiniest moan when you made contact with the plush sheets and bedding. This...yeah, you could fall asleep like this, despite the impending nuisance at your back. 

He didn’t turn any lights on when he entered the room, instead using the flashlight on his phone to navigate the room. He snorts when he sees your battleground made of pillows, shaking his head. 

“If you don’t like it, sleep on the couch,” you grumbled quietly, not even bothering to open your eyes. 

“Aw, my girlfriend-chan did such a good job playing house. Do you want to be my little wife-cha--” A pillow lobbed expertly at his head shut him up, the silence finally letting you get close to sleep again.

“Goodnight, Oikawa,” you muttered, holding a pillow under your cheek. 

“Goodnight, (y/n),” he sighs, sliding into the opposite side of the bed. Experimentally, he taps his foot against your pillow fortress. He isn’t surprised to find it rock solid. “You really don’t wanna wake up with snuggles, huh? What a shame...What a waste…”   
  


“I said goodnight, Oikawa,” you repeated, a little louder this time. The sounds of shuffling filled the air as you both situated, then settled into nothing more than the air conditioner blasting throughout the space. You could feel yourself drifting off, nose scrunching as one final thought crossed your mind. “If you...if you snore, you can-” you paused to yawn, feeling your mind leaving your body, “you can leave.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [pretends to be shocked] omg there was only one bed
> 
> AAAAAAAAA MY FAVORITE TROPED WELCOME TO THE CLUB BEDSHARING AU I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!!


End file.
